Mr. Wingfield
from Unseen Character
(The setting is the Wingfield apartment. The rooms are illuminated by a single candle. We see a living room and dining room connected by a draped portiere. Outside of these rooms is a fire escape leading to an alley where a single garbage can stands. Near the photograph on the back wall is a typewriter keyboard chart and a Gregg shorthand diagram. The candle’s flame has melted part of a blown-up photograph. The corners are curled and there is a burnt mark across the forehead of the smiling man. A young woman blows out the candle. The blown-up photograph comes to life.)
You know what’s better than being at home all the time? Being away from home all the time.
(Silence.)
I think I’ll have another piña colada. You are a talented bartender, let me tell you that, getting these drinks so frothy and smooth.
This is my first time in Mazatlan. It’s as close to Heaven as you’re going to find right here on Earth. It’s like that home away from home that you like even better than your home.
You ever been to St. Louis? It’s a dreadful place, let me tell you that. It’s my own personalized version of Hell. Confined to sixteen walls and a nagging wife. And two children, both with . . . afflictions.
(He takes a sip of his fresh piña colada.)
I met the man who invented these cocktail umbrellas. I was at the World’s Fair in New York City in 1939. He gave me a Zombie cocktail and told me it had enough rum in it to get four sailors drunk. And I don’t think he lied. It was mighty powerful. Tasted like fruit punch.
It’s a funny thing to have a drink like this. Looks like an innocent beverage. Looks like a virginal drink. But it truly is just a disguise. I think a lot of people are like these fruity drinks. They look sweet, act sweet, seem sweet. You meet somebody’s public persona. You enjoy their public persona. You think that person makes good company.
But you get her behind closed doors, and her personality shifts like you have never seen before. It’s like Nurse Jeckyll and Ms. Hyde. You don’t know which one you’re going to get. 