Out and Back
Keeping the reservoir on our right
as a clock keeps time,
between its good ear and steadiest hand,
we lean into the mountain.
Your old body and mine
(age: you minus you
before me) draw
themselves over and over, over
and over themselves,
until they are finished.
This is California in the rough spring, after drought.
Careful of erosion, we pick between
its hoard of water
and its fire roads.
From that narrow gully, we were brought.
We hear on the news: a local woman walking in the moonlight
came up dead in a dry creek below the trail.
From that narrow place, God brought
wild iris studded on the vale,
pink blooms
of pain in the joints.
The trail bends a way it shouldn’t, according to the map.
You stumble on a root, bone of this road
that everywhere suddenly shows.
Keep the water on your right
and you will end as you’ve begun,
the trail guide says.
But I’m already far
from this:
back in a museum’s ancient wing,
where I saw a kind of vase with claws,
vessel terminating in the foreparts of
some animal, stupid, walking the trail after dark,
a trail it knows from childhood.
Its face appears familiar but I don’t
recognize its feet. Finishing as they do
in a flush of blossoms,
in another country.
The Machine's Guide to Grief
Out and Back
Sara Turing’s Archive
States and Instructions for the Universal Machine