Blackbirdan online journal of literature and the artsSpring 2017  Vol. 16 No. 1
an online journal of literature and the arts
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Letter 15

What we were doing didn’t feel good. I couldn’t think of a way to let you know that. I think I told you it wasn’t fair. You agreed. You offered yourself to make it right. You got me involved. In my mind, I was just doing it back. It was different. I only ever used my hands. I realize now that was what you wanted, and I know that doesn’t exclude me. I won’t tell you what I say to myself every time I think about how, at one point, all of that stuff was normal. I don’t care if I can’t trust you to tell me the truth. I feel like a fraud having the last word. I’ve built you up to be something menacing, but I bet people would laugh at us both if they saw you. That’s why if you were to call me a monster, I’d believe you.  

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