SUSANNA
CHILDRESS
What You Meant Was
It's a surprise to sit outside this
time of November
so comfortably on
the swing with a crash of sun against
your neck wanting to wear that white dress only
meant
for
indeed summer the
one you have taken in a man with
what you thought opaque white not quite so or
so
he told you after he'd
swept a finger across your cheek
when you said Saul I
don't know if we deserve this
and he said close your eyes and think about
it
What he meant was don't think What
he meant was let me kiss you
Sitting
outside with a spot of flowers huddled against the fence
you are glad it still feels like summer your
mother has used the word
unseasonable to describe it though you
would have said anomalous
anything else sounds giddy and
these are solemn days
with the coming of winter still
coming only pitched a length from our minds
You let
him kiss you of course and
you're thinking of course
because this is the man who
put a spin on you who
took
and took from you all
of it starting with that white dress
that day in the park after church he
must have watched the shadows
the light across your body to
tell you later he knew
exactly what kind of panties you wore tugging the slight
white
strap at your hip all you
could think to say was
wait to which he said sorry
sorry sorry
what you meant was no
what he meant was let me try again in five four three
A tree frog
starts a slow crawl across the seat of the swing you
have
never seen a frog crawl as if a spider one limb at
a time each wet nub reaching
carefully
you reach
to touch the frog so
small
so composed and unaware you mean not to
hurt it just
reassure yourself of
living you
too have been that still
a thin line of sweat
on the crest of your lip 
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