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I Sing the Body Aquatic
When I offer my sweaty hand in  greeting 
I can see the future. No  matter 
how gently you squeeze, I  know 
when our hands meet you will  crowd 
my crooked index and pinky  fingers 
against their  straight-as-an-arrow brothers 
so that my hand looks more  like a fin 
than an appendage perfectly  evolved 
for tying shoelaces or wiping  a tear 
from the red face of the  missionary 
who rode his bicycle under the  sun 
all day to reach my porch. 
When he takes my hand he won’t  find hope 
or brotherhood or whatever 
he’s looking for. Because I  can see 
the future at times like this 
and because I have an  unshakeable faith 
in the law of averages, I  know 
when our hands embrace he’ll  find 
proof of natural selection 
in the shape of my fingers, evolutionary 
holdovers from an era of  gills 
when the earth was all  aquarium 
and some distant relative  with sleepy eyes 
and splayed fins who tired of  being mocked 
by handsome carp said, To hell with it 
and climbed out of the sea and  across 
moonlit dunes toward a sandy  life. 
In that moment he couldn’t  have predicted 
300 million years later one  of his 
descendants having long since  grown legs 
would be belly down on a  beach 
before an ocean that would  carry him 
and his own to the land of  Montezuma 
to roast in the sun for four  centuries 
where their conversion into  dry Catholics 
would be so perfect you would  never guess 
I can’t swim to save my life 
or anyone else’s or that the  sound of a wave 
pounding a rock makes me  nostalgic. 
You would never know any of  this 
until we met on the street 
or you knocked on my door and  embraced 
my hand and felt Galilee on  my palm, 
which you might mistake for  nervousness 
unless you were familiar with  the embarrassment 
of having the only wet fins  at a party 
because somewhere in your  family there was a pike 
or two hailing from one of  the lost schools 
that under pain of death swam 
far from the Atlantic or  Mediterranean, 
around both of which I hear  shame 
and  fear are still the coins of the realm.  ![]()
   
    
    
    
    
    
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   I Sing the Body Aquatic